Renewed: Broken Girl
by NyanRainbowPrincess
Summary: When your self-worth is lost, there's not much you can do. All you can do is pray that you'll be renewed. "Let your tears touch to the ground Lay your shattered pieces down And be amazed by how Grace can take a broken girl And put her back together again" Rating for teen related issues. No cursing involved though. First Story in the Renewed Series.
1. Chapter 1

I held my breath as I held up my pregnancy test to my face.

_Positive._

I felt tears come to my eyes as I sat up from the bathroom door. _This couldn't be happening._

It had only been a little innocent experimentation. I never meant for it to become more than that. Tears cascaded down the side of my face. I wiped them away brushing my fingers along my face in disbelief. Someone knocked on the bathroom door.

"Amu-chan? Are you okay in there?" My mom called out.

"Hai! I'm fine Mama!" I shouted back. I looked into the mirror. _How did I ever sink down to this level? _All I had wanted to do was prove to Ikuto that I really loved him. How did it get to this point? Priscilla had been against it. She said I shouldn't put myself in sexually tempting situations. I didn't listen. None of my other friends really cared. She was the only one who was religious out of all my friends. She was the only one who warned me. And I didn't listen. I just sighed and put my hand on the counter to try and get back up. I twisted the door knob of the bathroom, after fixing my hair.

"Amu-chan, are you okay, sweetie? You were in there for a while," my mom asked.

"I'm fine mama."

"Okay, well, Ikuto came by while you were in the bathroom and wants to talk to you outside," my mom said.

"WHY DOES HE WANT TO SPEAK TO MY AMU-CHAN OUTSIDE ALONE! MY LITTLE GIRL CAN'T GO TALK TO HIM! HE'LL TRY AND KISS HER OR SOMETHING! DON'T LEAVE YOUR DADDY!" my dad shouted bursting into tears. _If he's acting like this from me and Ikuto talking, how much more when he would found out what we did?_

"It's alright Amu, your father will be fine. Tell Ikuto-kun I said hi," my mother stated starting to console my dad.

"Hai." I walked outside to see Ikuto leaning against the gate of my house. He tilted his head to look at me, and then he looked away. I walked up to him nervously. He avoided my glance.

"Ikuto-"

"Amu, I'm breaking up with you." My heart shattered into pieces.

"W-What? Why?" I stuttered not believing my ears.

"Amu, we can't be together anymore. I'm sorry," he whispered before chara-changing and jumping away. I stood there as the wind caressed my face, and let more tears drip down my face.

"But, I'm pregnant..." I whispered, knowing that the father of my child had just abandoned me. I went back inside and straight to my room. My phone was ringing. I looked down and saw that it was Rima.

"Hello?"

"Amu, Priscilla wants to have a sleepover at her house. Are you going to come?" Rima asked. My heart clenched with even more guilt.

"I told you so" she would say easily. There's no way she'd even want to be near me after finding out what I did. I put the phone back up to my ear and kept talking.

"Not at the moment Rima. Tell Priscilla I'm good."

"Are you sure? Is something wrong?" I bit my tongue. I would tell her, but the fear of being judged haunted me. I would've poured out my heart to her, but I'm the one supposed to be strong and help people, not the one showing my weakness. _I have to be strong._ I took a deep breath.

"No Rima, I'm just not feeling up to a sleepover right now..."

"Well, okay. I'll tell Priscilla. See you in school tomorrow Amu," Rima muttered hanging up. I knew she was suspicious, but I couldn't tell her. What I did was too horrible to be forgiven. I turned on my back and stared at my ceiling.

"How could this have happened?" Tears continued to slip out of my eyes as I cried silently. I would give anything to have my charas around. I had given them up, trying to please Ikuto. I started to lie around him, because I wanted him to love me, and I didn't want my parents to know that I was dating him. I stopped being cool, not because I wanted to show him the real me, but because I became so desperate to please him. I stopped being sweet to other girls, because I was afraid they would steal Ikuto from me. That's part of why I only had a few friends now. My charas all left, because I destroyed my self-worth. I silently cried, hoping that everything would be better tomorrow.

The sun's rays peaked through my window as I woke up. I had slept in an odd position, leaving me sore. Swinging my feet over my bed side was a struggle. I stood up and grabbed my clothes heading back to the bathroom. The hot water running down my body did nothing to cleanse how dirty I was feeling. Going to school was not my first priority. I wanted to instead stay home in self pity, but my mother would not allow that. She didn't even know why I would want to stay. I dragged myself to school, wishing that I wouldn't encounter any of my friends.

"Amu-chan!" _My luck just keeps getting worse and worse._ I turned to see Priscilla and Yaya running towards me. Unfortunately, Yaya tripped in a comical fashion. Pepe only shook her head at her owner. Priscilla helped Yaya up before walking towards me after learning from Yaya's mistake.

"Hey Amu! How come you didn't want to come to my sleepover yesterday? It's not like you to miss one of my sleepovers..." Priscilla inquired.

"Yeah! It was so fun Amu-chan! I had so much sugar!" Yaya stated salivating at the thought of candy. Priscilla grabbed a napkin from her pocket and handed it to Yaya. Yaya was also holding a cupcake that seemed to be unharmed from her previous fall.

"We saved you a cupcake," Priscilla beamed. I gently took it from her and started to nibble at it. Priscilla frowned when she saw my hesitation. "Is something wrong?"

"No." I stated. _No one would understand._


	2. Chapter 2

To all Amuto fangirls and anyone looking for romance:

This story is not about romance. It's about redemption. There won't really be any Amuto, and there won't be any Tadamu. Now seeing as I am a Tadamu shipper, I'm gonna put in probably the most miniscule hint. Honestly, the focus of this story isn't about Amuto or Tadamu. It's about a mistake being erased, as if it never existed. That is all.

Love, NyanRainbowPrincess

P.S. There's a negative statement in this chapter. It's not a cuss word, but it's not completely child appropriate either. If any young child is reading this, please have your parents look through it first so that you know if it's okay with them.

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><p>The ticking of the clock on the wall droned in my ears. <em>Tick, tock. Tick, tock.<em> 5 minutes until lunch. I watched my classmates chattered carelessly while Nikaidou-sensei tried to calm everyone down. Priscilla, Rima, Tadase, and Nagihiko were talking nearby. I saw Tadase glance at me. Priscilla nudged him and then whispered in his ear. I saw his countenance fall, and I saw Priscilla put a supporting hand on his shoulder. I wondered why he was looking at me. Ever since I started dating Ikuto, I thought he had given up on me. It didn't matter right now. _Ring! _The signal of the bell caused everyone to scurry out of the classroom except my friends. Rima gave me the same look Priscilla gave me earlier after I said everything was fine. I looked down at my mahogany desk. Suddenly, Kusukusu flew into my face.

"C'mon Amu! You've got to smile today!" Kusukusu giggled. The rest of my friend's charas soon landed on my desk and tried to console me. I gave them a slight smile before standing back up. Oh, how I missed my charas.

"Amu-chan." I turned to see all of my friends standing right behind me. I saw that they felt something was wrong.

"What's-"

"I'm fine," I quickly spouted out. Rima pouted and crossed her arms.

"Okay then Amu. If you don't want to tell us what's bothering you right now, that's fine. Just know you can tell us anything. We're your friends," Priscilla stated giving me a smile. _Would they still be my friends after what I've done?_

"I'm really fine Priscilla. No need to worry," I managed to muster before walking with the others to the Royal Garden. As we walked past the outdoor garden that led to the Royal Garden, we saw Saaya making out with some random guy. Rima groaned in disgust.

"Ewww! That's nasty!" Yaya pouted before grabbing Nagihiko's hands and covering her eyes with them. I hadn't even known she had shown up.

"She's such a slut. She has sex with every guy she sees." Rima stated, not caring that Yaya could hear what she said. Yaya gasped before Priscilla covered her ears for her.

"Rima, that's not very nice..."Priscilla muttered.

"It's true though. She doesn't value any kind of relationship..."

"I understand that. I don't condone what she's doing. It's just that I know she's also a broken person. She must be so hungry for love, that she looks towards pleasure to satisfy herself. Oh, Saaya... you were so beautiful and eccentric. What happened to you?" Priscilla said to herself sadly. I noticed my friends' comments, and knew that telling them was not an option at all. The whole lunch period, I didn't pay much attention to what they were talking about. Their words only repeated themselves in my mind, except with them talking about me instead.

_"She's such a slut. She has sex with every guy she sees"_

_"Oh, Amu... you were so beautiful and eccentric. What happened to you?"_

"Amu-chan." I looked up to see Tadase looking at me.

"Eh?" I had zoned out completely.

"I was just wondering if everything was okay with you and Ikuto. You seem pretty upset," Tadase stated. I avoided his eyes. I knew that if he heard what Ikuto and I had done, he would've blamed Ikuto and taken vengeance on him. And he'd feel so betrayed by me. I couldn't bear to see him so upset again.

"Nothing's wrong." I stated. Tadase gave me a disappointed look showing that this wasn't the response he had wanted. Priscilla quickly looked over to Tadase and their eyes caught. Priscilla nodded towards him before he stood up.

"We will have to cut this meeting short. Star-san and I have to go talk." Tadase and Priscilla walked out together. I saw Priscilla loop her arm through Tadase's as they talked. I knew Priscilla liked Tadase. She just wanted me and him together more than she liked him. I chose Ikuto instead. She still seemed unsure. I don't believe she would have any reason to hold back though. Tadase was all hers now. I felt a wave of sadness pass over me, as I realized that I had no one who would love me anymore.

No one at all.


	3. Chapter 3

The rest of the school day seemed very elongated. Time passed by very slowly as Amu staggered out of the classroom. She felt a wave of sickness sweep over her as she fled to the bathroom. Priscilla and Rima had seen this, and they decided to follow her. Amu forced open the door of a stall and keeled over. She puked and choked over the toilet. She felt somebody pull her hair behind her neck. She glanced back to see Priscilla holding back her hair while Rima grabbed a bottle of water out of her backpack. Amu finished puking and she wiped her mouth. Priscilla and Rima handed her the water with a towel.

"Thanks." Amu mumbled. She held the water bottle up to her lips and tilted her head backwards. She finished the bottle quickly and Priscilla got it from her to throw it away.

"Are you okay Amu? You don't seem like your usual self today?" Priscilla asked. If only you knew, Amu thought.

"I'm fine, I probably just ate something bad today," Amu stated.

"Are you sure?" Rima asked looking at Amu.

"Yes."

"Okay, just be careful with what you eat from now on," Priscilla winked. Amu mustered up a small smile. Priscilla returned the smile and all three of them walked out of the school. They walked by a pregnancy crisis center. Amu's heart clenched. Everything she saw reminded her that she was pregnant. Her friends waved goodbye to her as she stepped into her bedroom. She sighed. Her room was her only place of peace she had left. She ran to that sanctuary and cried her heart out. Her friends stared after her as soon as the door shut. They both heard the quiet sobs echoing out of Amu's bedroom. They were silent for a moment before Rima spoke.

"She lied." Priscilla didn't need to ask what she meant. Something was gravely wrong with their friend, and she had to find out what it was.

"Didn't Amu act weird when Tadase asked her about Ikuto?" Priscilla responded. Rima looked down at the ground with her bangs covering her eyes.

"If he did anything to her, I will hurt him. He shouldn't have even dreamed of hurting Amu..." Rima muttered clenching her fists. Priscilla put a hand on her shoulder.

"Don't worry Rima, maybe we're just missing a piece of the puzzle, maybe whatever Amu ate is causing her some kind of pain," Priscilla suggested.

"If you say so," Rima mumbled, "I've got to get home. I'll see you tomorrow." Rima waved and split up from Priscilla to walk home. Priscilla glanced at Amu's house one last time. Priscilla opened the door to her house as soon as she got there and walked into her bedroom. She knelt down on her knees. "

Dear Lord Jesus, please help Amu with whatever she's dealing with. I have a feeling that food isn't causing her to be this way. Please show her that you will always be there for her. And help me to be there for her as much as I can. In Jesus' name, Amen." Priscilla sighed before collapsing on her bed, and then groaning when she remembered her homework. She couldn't focus. Amu needed help to escape from this darkness that was slowly consuming her. Priscilla knew what to do, but she was afraid it wouldn't help. She needed to make up her mind about how to save her friend from the approaching darkness waiting to completely engulf her heart and mind.

**She had to do something. **

**Because if she didn't, no one would.**

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><p>Nyan: Just to let you guys know, I bumped this up to a T rating since this is a bit of a mature topic. Again, if any children are reading this and do not believe their parents would approve of this story, log off right now. Don't keep reading if it's only going to breed disobedience in your hearts. And that's all I have to say for now. So adieu from your favorite author, NyanRainbowPrincess. Please Read and Review.<p> 


	4. Chapter 4

A week had passed by and I was still entrenched in m bed, with my head under the covers. My stomach gurgled and bubbled as I rolled onto my side. I puked into the bucket next to my bed and groaned.

"Amu-chan." I lifted my head to see my mother's head poking out from behind the door. "Are you feeling better?" I didn't respond as my cheeks bulged and I vomited once again. "This is the most serious case of the flu I've ever seen. You'll need to stay home from school today." I didn't argue, I only groaned. "I'll bring you lunch in an hour." My mother gently closed the door as I laid my head back down on its pillow. This morning sickness stinks. What I would give to have some of Su's soup right now... My only companion was the tick and tock of the clock in my room. I was too weak to do anything. So I just laid there and wallowed in my pool of self-pity. How could I have ended up like this? I should've never gone to that stupid party. I sighed looking at the basket that used to hold my charas. They would've stopped me from doing what I had done, but I had already let go of them. I realized that I didn't feel so queasy anymore so I swung my legs over the side of the bed and stood up. I smelt the rancid aroma of my previous regurgitation and almost puked again. I grabbed the basket and threw its contents down the toilet. The sound of the flush cause me to omit a sigh of relief from my mouth. I stared at my reflection, and the girl staring back at me had messy pink hair, bags under her eyes, and a slightly dried up trail of saliva starting at her mouth. I cleaned up my face and attempted to brush my hair. Those bags under my eyes were there to stay. I sighed and put on a baggy sweater. I needed some fresh air. The cool breeze outside was refreshing, but I still had problems running through my mind. What am I supposed to do? What if I start showing? A sigh omitted through my mouth once again. I was hopeless. The smiling faces of children with their parents in the middle of the day only caused me to cringe. I don't want that in my future. I passed by the school gates and gazed towards the Royal Garden. I could see Yaya's hyperactive silhouette bouncing around while Nagihiko tried to calm her down. The echoes of Priscilla and Rima's laughter were resonant throughout the air.

"Mwahaha! Halt in your actions peasant! No one shall have the privilege of touching the royal chocolate but me! Mwahahaha!" Tadase's laughter echoed before the sound of a clanging bucket silenced him. I smiled faintly at my friends' antics. I shouldn't ruin their happiness with my problems. It wouldn't be fair. I had to fix this. How could I stop this problem before it spiraled out of control? I thought a bit before turning around sighing. I already knew what would happen to girls like me. They were ridiculed and gossiped about. That's what happened to Saaya, but she never got pregnant. Maybe that was what gave me the false hope that I would be okay. That and the fact that my nerves were frayed. But there had to have been at least one time where it didn't work out for her. How does she save herself then? I shook my bangs out of y face as I squished my toes in the soggy fabric of my boots. Another sigh was omitted from my mouth. Why did I get myself into this situation? What was I going to do? I knew something had to be done. Regardless of whether anyone knew or not- My life was slowly spiraling out of control.


	5. Chapter 5

School. A word many dread. The place where children are forced to spend hours learning skills that would only help if you wanted to build a rocket ship. Let's see how 3.14 can help my situation? School. The place where I feared to tread, because I knew that eventually, I wouldn't be welcome anymore. Hugging my arms to myself, I took one step after another. A sudden weight appeared on my back, and I collapsed.

"Yaya, get off of Amu! You know she's been sick lately!" Priscilla scolded Yaya while Nagihiko pulled her off.

"Did she get cooties? Yaya doesn't want cooties!" Yaya instantly chara changed. "Circle, circle; dot, dot- now you've got the cootie shot!" Yaya stated indenting both of my arms. Everybody sweat-dropped.

"Yaya, the only way Amu would've gotten cooties would've been if Ikuto infected her," Priscilla stated teasingly. My heart clenched. My teeth started to grind. I shouldn't be mad at her. She doesn't even know what happened. She was the only one who disapproved of my relationship. She didn't intend to hurt my feelings. But I didn't care.

"You shouldn't be concerned whether or not he did. You never liked him anyways," I sneered. Priscilla stood and gave me a shocked look before regaining her composure.

"Amu, you know I thought you should've put off dating until after high school. Usually, my friends don't listen to me when I say that. It's true he wasn't my favorite person, but I thought you could be a good influence on him. I just didn't think dating him was a good idea. You know what the Bible says in Song of Solomon 2:7? 'Do not awaken love until the time is right.' I just didn't think this was the right time." I stared at her for only a second before Rima spoke up.

"Priscilla, I love you, but you can't live your whole life according to some old book," Rima stated. Priscilla wasn't fazed.

"Whatever you say Rima, but I hope someday you'll realize that the Bible is truly the Word of God."

"Can we stop talking about this? You're making me uncomfortable," Rima replied quickly. I never paid much heed to Priscilla when she started talking about this stuff, but that thing about not awakening love would've been helpful.

"Let's get to class guys," Nagihiko stated breaking the awkward silence. Rima walked off first, and Priscilla gestured for Nagihiko to follow her. Nagihiko complied. Priscilla, Tadase, and I walked at the same pace.

"Star-san." Priscilla looked to Tadase in response. He only put a hand on her shoulder and she smiled. I don't know what happened with them; they were suddenly best friends who could read each other's minds.

"Hey, Amu," Priscilla stated breaking my train of thought, "Would you like to come to my church this Sunday?" I only looked at her. What would I want to do there? Besides, everyone there would be way too "holy" for me. I saw Priscilla sticking out her bottom lip which started quivering. Ughh.. Oh great... She's using the sparkle technique.

"Fine..."

"Yay!" She jumped up and down happily. Miracle smiled sweetly at me.

"We'll be watching out for you," she giggled before flying off to find the other charas. I saw Tadase smiling at me too. I wonder why he was so happy. We walked through the door of the classroom to see Saaya holding hands with a different guy than last week. Priscilla mumbled under her breath, "You don't have to switch boyfriends every week." She seemed slightly irked by Saaya. I sighed and sat down in my seat. My mind wandered as Nikaido~sensei tried to teach while dropping many items. I didn't laugh like most of my classmates. I needed to find a solution. The bell for recess ran and I lingered behind. I had told my friend to go on without me. Would they leave me if they found out about my situation? I snapped myself away from this thought by shaking my head. I don't want to think like that. I pushed the door open to see Saaya and her posse talking.

"Tell us your secrets, Saaya!"

"Yeah! How do you always avoid getting pregnant?"

"I just use protection. It always works," Saaya chortled. I glared at her. I knew it was nothing but lies that she was feeding them. I clenched my hands. If what she had said was true, I wouldn't even be in this mess. I walked past them angrily. I doubt Saaya could've been safe the whole time. My hand reached around the doorknob to the Royal Garden when I heard voices.

"Something's been really off with Amu for the past two weeks," Nagihiko speculated. My breath caught in my throat.

"Yeah. She needs support for whatever she's going through," Priscilla stated in response.

"I bet you think she's harboring some 'secret sin', don't you?" Rima sneered.

"I feel she's hiding some secret pain, but it may not necessarily be from sin."

"Whatever," Rima stated offhandedly. Why is she so antagonistic towards this stuff? Does that mean she'd be okay with what I did, or would she be consumed in a fit of outrage? I wouldn't know. I didn't want them to keep talking about me. I pulled the door open with a vigorous amount of force. Nagihiko looked up and smiled at me.

"Ohayo Amu-chan," he waved. My fake smile reappeared on my face.

"Hi." I didn't reveal any indication that I had heard their conversation.

"We don't have much to talk about today; we really only have to do paperwork," Tadase explained.

"Yes! I'm so glad I'm a Joker!" Priscilla cheered. Yaya pouted.

"Yaya doesn't want to do paperwork either," Yaya whined. Sweat-drops appeared and disappeared from her statement. Priscilla grabbed my forearm.

"Don't worry guys! We'll get everyone some ice cream," Priscilla volunteered. This only caused Yaya to whine louder while accusing Priscilla of going to eat the ice cream before we got back. Priscilla dragged me by my arm towards the ice cream shop. I saw a head of red hair walking into a building with two white P's on a blue background. I didn't get to read the sign before the chime of the doors ushered me inside.

"We'd like 3 vanilla ice creams with sprinkles on 2 of them, 2 vanilla parfaits, and 1 chocolate ice cream," Priscilla chirped. The salesperson wrote down the order and started scooping up the ice creams.

"Amu." I turned to see Priscilla looking at me curiously.

"What's up?"

"What's been going on with you recently? Something's wrong. I know it," Priscilla stated sternly. I tried to avoid her eyes. "Seriously Amu, you might want to do it before one of my charas comes and makes me chara change." I knew she wasn't kidding. Beauty could make Priscilla pretty scary with those scissors... I sighed. Telling her the truth would hurt. "It's Ikuto, isn't it?" I looked at her shocked. This only gave me away though. "What did he do Amu?" Should I tell her what was happening within me?

"Ikuto broke up with me." It may not be the whole truth, but it's still the truth. I waited for all the "I told you so's", but instead, Priscilla embraced me.

"I'm so sorry." That struck me as odd.

"Why? I though you didn't want me dating him?"  
>"I didn't want you guys dating so that you wouldn't get brokenhearted at a point. That doesn't mean I still can't be here for you," Priscilla replied over my shoulder. I was shocked. She'd been advising against this the whole time, yet she wanted to help me broken pieces. I smiled. Maybe this wouldn't end too badly after all. The bells chimed once again and I turned my head to see Saaya walking in looking slightly drowsy. She gave us a drunk-like glare. I ignored it. We walked back to the Royal Garden. The ice cream was handed out, easing Yaya's rage. I licked a stray drop of vanilla dripping down the side of my ice cream cone. I smiled. Maybe all my hope wasn't gone yet. Our meeting soon ended, and I walked by the building Saaya went into earlier. I pushed the bar on the door, and it gave way. I saw many smiling faces. I read the sign on the front desk. 'Planned Parenthood.' But parenthood can't be planned. How's that work? A happy receptionist called me over.<p>

"Hello dear, how could we help you today?" I was slightly thrown off by her friendliness.

"Uhmm... I was really just curious..."

"Well, you could take one of our pamphlets." She handed me a blue pamphlet. I looked at the offered services. Pregnancy counseling. My face after reading this must've revealed my shock.

"Oh honey, do you need help with your pregnancy?" I looked at her shocked.

"Don't worry. We have plenty of girls just like you. I can set up an appointment for you."

"Uhmm..."

"We don't have to tell your parents..." the nurse stated slipping me a sheet of paper that read _Sunday 4:00 p.m._ I wondered why she was so friendly. At least I could finally get some help with my problem. I would tell Priscilla, but there's no way she'd be okay with what I did. I got home and laid down on my bed. I wondered what Sunday would hold for me.


	6. Chapter 6

Ring. Ring. My alarm clock woke me up as sunshine flooded my room. I groaned and covered my head with a pillow.

"Amu, wake up or you'll be late for church with Priscilla!" My mom called out. My eyes flew open as I remembered my promise to my friend. I frantically showered and got dressed. I ran to the table and grabbed a piece of toast with butter dripping off of it. "Amu, can you take Ami with you? I think it would be nice for her to get out of the house instead of watching TV all day," Mama gestured to Ami who was watching the Wiggles. Mama grabbed the remote and switched off the TV. Ami's eyes instantly swelled up.

"Mama! I wanna watch the Wiggles!" she whined. I gained a sweat-drop on my head as she threw her temper tantrum.

"Calm down Ami, I just want you to go with Amu to her friend's church." Ami instantly stopped crying. She looked at me confused.

"But isn't church boring?" she asked. I shrugged and finished eating my toast. I walked out the door and looked back. Ami was nowhere to be found. My sweat-drop returned and I sighed while face palming.

"Where did she go now?" At this exact moment, Ami reappeared with her angel costume. "What're you doing Ami?"

"Since we're going to meet God, I wanted to be an angel," she grinned at me. I chuckled at her innocence and gripped her hand.

"Let's go," I stated gently before leading Ami out the door. We stood outside the door with the address on it. I honestly had expected a large steeple. We walked in and I almost tripped over a baby crawling towards the door.

"Gotcha!" a boy called out picking up the baby. He looked about my age. The baby only giggled. _Wait, is that his baby?_ But he goes to church, he shouldn't do stuff like that! I watched him return the baby to his mother. I let out a sigh of relief. I also felt a bit upset. Of course that wouldn't be his child! He's too holy for that kind of stuff. Someone near the door welcomed me in.

"Hello," a man in a black shirt with a yellow tie greeted, "Let me show you where the youth services are." He led us down a hallway and showed Ami the children's room. She ran in happily, quickly going to join their welcome circle. I smiled at her and continued down the hall. The man opened a door with a bunch of kids my age sitting and listening to another guy speaking. I looked around for Priscilla, and my eyes caught a glint of blonde hair.

"T-Tadase-kin?!" I was shocked. Everyone turned around to look at me. I regained my composure and waved nervously. I saw Priscilla grin at me, and she ran up to me and led me to a chair adjacent to hers. I sat down shyly. The preacher in the middle of the room smiled at me.

"Can we please have our newcomer stand up and introduce herself?" My heart caught in my throat. I stood up a bit shakily not expecting to have to introduce myself.

"I-I'm Amu Hinamori…" I murmured.

"And who invited you?" he asked once again.

"Priscilla," I muttered. A couple "whoops" were heard.

"Well, everybody go on and welcome her!" Suddenly a flurry of hands begged for a shake, and I felt slightly overwhelmed. Their friendliness was completely unexpected. Priscilla chuckled at my surprise. I sat back down after what seemed like everyone in the room finished shaking my hand. The preacher smiled once again.

"Okay, so let's continue on with our discussion on sexual purity." I swallowed. Of course Priscilla wanted me to hear this stuff! She must've know what I had done. My heart clenched as I sat there.

"Now, we all know that God created sex for marriage. We know that because in Genesis 2:24, it states 'Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.' And we all know that there's nothing that makes humans into one flesh better than sex." There were snickers from a few immature kids. "This is also in a spiritual sense. Does anyone know what chemical is released by women during sex?" People quieted down in fear of being called on. Priscilla smiled triumphantly while raising her hand. The youth pastor nodded her way.

"It's oxytocin."

"Which is also referred to as the bonding hormone." Some snickers were heard from a girl in the back.

"Looks like scientist Priscilla is in the building." The preacher quickly shot her a look of disdain.

"Sex bonds you to another person- whether you know it or not. When God created sex, he made it so man could multiply, but also so that it would be full of pleasure, and so that a man could get closer to his wife through in. In this generation of darkness, sex has been reduced to nothing but pleasure, but that's not right…" I started to zone out. Pleasure, isn't that what sex is for? To feel good? That's what I'd been told by everyone… Was it really a lie? (I don't feel good right now.) I clasped my hands over my stomach and closed my eyes while sighing. "Holiness is necessary in this wicked generation. We need to purify ourselves from our flesh and lust, because in the end, it will lead you down to Hell." My eyes shot open at this point. Wasn't Hell just a place someone dreamed up to scare little kids into being good. I saw everyone's face, fully attentive and serious. _It never sounds serious when everyone jokes about it._

_Go to hell…_

_What the hell…_

Wasn't it just a curse word?

"Hell is real, very real. And you don't want to get stuck down there because of a few minutes of pleasure. Even if you think you and your partner will go down together, one thing that characterizes Hell is that you'll be separated from God, and you'll be alone in the darkness, with only the demons torturing you for company." Alone… Isn't that what I already was? Ikuto left me, and I don't even know how he could just leave me like that… I guess that I'm living in my own Hell on Earth…

"That is why we need to listen to the Holy Spirit instead of our flesh, because our flesh leads us only to destruction." I zoned out once more. When they say our flesh, do they mean ourselves? I'm pretty sure I'm all flesh and bones… Well, if there is a God somewhere, I doubt he'd like what I was doing. I noticed everyone shaking hands and standing up. I sighed and walked towards Priscilla who spoke to some of her friends.

"…it really is sad how most girls just throw away their bodies nowadays," Priscilla stated. I stopped walking.

"They're just sluts." I gulped. I knew it.. I knew people would call me that if they found out.

"It's not kind to call people that. They're just hungry for love, and they're looking in the wrong places," Priscilla replied.

_Wait, why isn't she being judgmental?.._

"You know, sins like that used to be punished by stoning. If we used that now, the world would be free of sin," another girl stated.

"That also means the world would be devoid of people. We've all sinned. When Jesus died, He died for all of our sins. He took our death, so that we could be renewed. Jesus' blood is the ultimate stain remover for the blots of sin in our lives," Priscilla beamed as she finished. Her friends had looks of reflection casted over their faces. I cleared my throat and walked forward. Priscilla turned around and smiled.

"Hi Amu," she grinned, "These are my friends, Sarah and Morgan." I waved to them.

"Hey Amu," Sarah (the girl who snickered earlier) said, "Do you have a boyfriend?" I froze. Priscilla saw this.

"Do you guys really want to have a carnal conversation like that after we've had such a spiritual service?" Priscilla stated while crossing her arms. Sarah and Morgan gave her a nervous chuckle before waving and walking away. Priscilla sighed and turned towards me. "Sorry about that." I nodded in response to her. I flipped out my cell phone and checked the time.

_1:05_.

So a half hour since church ended. I still have time to kill before my… appointment… A sour taste appeared in my mouth, and I chugged a bottle of water in an attempt to get rid of it. My stomach started to feel weird. Why… do I not feel so good about this counseling anymore… I glanced over to Priscilla and saw her eyes gleaming as she giggled at the young children. Should I tell her? She didn't seem too aggressive earlier…

"Priscilla…" Her head shot up as she turned towards me with a glint of curiosity in her brown eyes.

"Yeah Amu?" She inquired innocently.

"How would you react if one of your friends got pregnant?" Priscilla froze in place and she looked towards the ground. "Prisc-"

"What do the circumstances involve?" Her voice became lifeless.

"Well, she did… stuff with her boyfriend…" I paused as I watched Priscilla stiffen and her fists clenched slightly.

"Why do people have to be so stupid sometimes?" She muttered angrily.

"W-What do you mean?" I asked shocked at her reaction. She looked at me, and I saw a fire of anger in her eyes.

"People go around thinking they can do whatever they want without any consequences. People throw away their virginity, and then cry when they get pregnant. Then they get abortions to cover it up and hurt themselves even more. Killing your child who you produced with your partner will never make anything right…" she trailed off. I was overcome by guilt. _I shouldn't have said any-_

"I know I seem quite hysterical about this, but it's serious. People get hurt, lives get ruined, all because people think they can do whatever they want and escape the consequences…" I swallowed.

"But… what if this was a close friend?" I mumbled. She stopped and loosened up a bit.

"I'd be sorely disappointed in her- especially if I already warned her," her voice faded out. I saw a hint of pain flash through her eyes, and then it was gone. _That seals the deal._ We stood there awkwardly in silence. I gazed to the clock.

_2:45_

I looked around trying to break the tension, and I connected to a pair of pink eyes. _Oh, right…_ Tadase walked up to us and smiled at me. He put a hand on Priscilla's shoulder. This seemed to comfort her. She smiled. I felt a pang in my heart. _I no longer have anyone to comfort me… I 'm alone…_

"Amu-chan." I looked up quickly to see Tadase's magenta eyes staring back at me.

"T-Tadase-kun, when did you start going to church?" I asked glad to finally get that question off of my chest.

"Priscilla helped me out with something recently, and though inviting me to church would help, and she was right." Tadase smiled at Priscilla again. I would never understand their bond. _I would never have a bond like that again._

_3:15_

I needed to leave. I suddenly remembered Ami… She'd come with me and tell my parents everything…

"Could you guys watch Ami for a bit? There's… something I need to go do…" I trailed off with uncertainty as to whether I should tell Priscilla where I was going…

"Sure Amu. Ami seems to be getting along with the other kids just fine…" Priscilla beamed watching the children run around. One of the younger ones picked up a drumstick and Priscilla got a look of realization on her face as she sweatdropped. "Uhh… don't worry about Amu, Amu. She's in good hands." Scream were head as a destructive two-year old started chasing the older kids with his drumstick. Priscilla waved and quickly ran to the rescue. Tadase and I sweatdropped.

_3:25_

I stood there in awkward silence as I tried to avoid Tadase's eyes.

"Amu-chan." I looked up. "Jesus loves you."

"Huh?!" I was confused and caught off guard. Wasn't he supposed to be the one mad at us for everything we do wrong?

"He really does Amu-chan. And I want you to know that He's willing to keep loving you regardless of what you've done. I know personally." Tadase smiled.

_What could Tadase have possibly done? He was good before he came here, and now he's probably even better off._

The clock caught my attention.

_3:35… I've got to go…_

"I'll see you later Tadase-kun. I've got to go now," I stated still slightly perplexed. Tadase smiled and nodded at me before he went to help Priscilla with the boy's 3-year old brother, who had found the other drumstick. I sweatdropped once again as I walked outside the church. The cold wind outside contrasted with the warm atmosphere of Priscilla's church. I walked down the block and contemplated Tadase's words. _He's willing to keep loving you regardless…_

My hands clenched over my stomach. No way could I be loved after what I've done. Even Priscilla, who I was doubtful of at first probably wouldn't ever see me the same again. That coldness and anger in her eyes…

_Why do people have to be so stupid sometimes… I'd be sorely disappointed in her- especially if I had already warned her…_

The voices in my head grew louder.

_Stupid… disappointed…_

I had brought this upon myself. I was being stupid. And now I'm paying for it. Priscilla would say I would reap what I sowed. I didn't look where I was going.

"Ow." The sign had jabbed me in the thigh due to my lack of attention. I walked inside and sat down.

_3:55_

I heard a noise. It was muffled. It also resembled crying…

"Amu Hinamori?" the receptionist called. I stood up.

_Turn away…_

There was a bad feeling in my stomach. I ignored it. The receptionist checked me in and led me behind a desk.

"Are you… Amu Hinamori?" I nodded.

"Well, I've been told you've been having some issues with your pregnancy. I'm here to help." _I shouldn't be here. _"You know, you don't have to keep this pregnancy if you don't want to. We can terminate it for you."

"You mean… kill my baby?" My hands reached over my stomach protectively.

"Oh honey, it's just a fetus, you know, a blob of cells. All we're going to do is take them out of you before they can become a baby."

"But I learned in health class-"

"Those pictures were fetuses, not babies. It would be better for you if you terminate this pregnancy. Trust me sweetie. Wouldn't you rather wait until you were ready to be a parent?" I kept quiet. _I'm not truly ready anyway._

"I can give you another appointment. If you come next Sunday, we can set up your abortion." Bells rang in my head.

_"Then they get abortions to cover it up. Killing your child who you produced with your partner will never make anything right…"_

"How about the same time as today hun?" I only looked to her and gave a slight nod. She smiled and set it up for me. I walked out of the clinic feeling more guilty than before. Shuffling towards that church made me feel dirtier than before. But this is the only way I can be free from this…

_He's willing to keep loving you-_

I GET IT! Apparently, God loves me, but what I've done is way too bad. It'll be worse after next week, but I don't care.

_No one could love me anymore anyway…_

I opened the door. I didn't feel right being here anymore. Ami ran up to me happily.

"Onii-chan!" I smiled at her with a pan in my heart.

_Her eyes are so full of innocence... She can't know what I'm about to do…_

We walked in an air of silence. The only noises were from passerby's and Ami's occasional humming. She gasped and looked up at me with her large eyes.

"Onii-chan…" Why did she trail off? Is she getting suspicious? "Gwuess what?" I almost release a sigh of relief.

"What?" I asked inquisitively.

"I've accwepted Jesus as my Word and Personal Savior!"

I froze.

* * *

><p>John 1:1<p>

In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God.

Nyan: I had to do this. It was just so perfectly punny. Review por favor.


	7. Chapter 7

The bell rang. I looked at the calendar on the wall. Today was Wednesday.

_Only 4 more days…_

My upcoming appointment didn't seem right. Especially with Ami's newfound faith. My parents were okay with it. Honestly, Mama thinks it's an excellent way for Ami to behave.

_She better not expect me to be the one to take her back to church… I can't go back there…_

"Amu-chan." I looked up to see Tadase.

"Hm?"

"I really do hope you'll see how much Jesus loves you."

"Why do you keep saying that Tadase?" His look of surprise showed that I had caught him off guard. "Why do you keep saying Jesus loves me when you don't even know what I've done in my life?" Tadase smiled.

"I say that because no matter what you've done, Jesus' blood covers all. You just have to leave your sins at the cross. His love is true and lasts forever. It's stronger than the love of any friend… or boyfriend. He proved it by giving up His life for you, Amu. We're all looking for love in this world when God is chasing us trying to pour His lavishing love upon us. All you have to do, is accept it." I was shocked once again.

_There's more to this stuff than everyone says…_

"Amu-chan." I looked up attentively. "Please, bring Ikuto to church with you sometime. I know you may not want to, but it would be good for-"

"I can't." I looked down and my bangs covered my eyes.

"Amu, I know you may not want to, but-"

"I can't Tadase! I just can't!" I lashed out at him. His eyes contained a flash of hurt from me yelling at him.

"Why not?" He asked sincerely looking into my eyes. My eyes started to well up.

"Because… Ikuto broke up with me!" My flood of tears broke through the blockade of my eyelids. Tadase got a sympathetic look on his face as he attempted to place a hand on my shoulder.

"Amu, I'm so-"

"I don't care if you're sorry! How can you just come up to me and tell me Jesus loves me when someone I thought loved me just left me in the dust?! You don't know how I feel, no one does…" A silence surround us for a moment.

"I know how you feel Amu."

"No you don't. You don't know what it feels like to just watch the one you love get up and abandon you, leaving your heart in pieces."

"I do Amu. Because you left my heart in pieces when you said yes to Ikuto." I was stunned.

_Is this really… how Tadase felt?_

"Amu, when you started dating Ikuto, I felt lost and alone. My heart was shattered, and I didn't know what to call love. I spiraled into a darkness in which I believed several lies about myself, and I looked for love in all the wrong places. Priscilla was the only one to notice. She couldn't pull me out on her own. So she told me about Jesus, and it shocked me that I could actually have real love. Not the love with kissing and dates and cuddling- but the love that would lay down its life for me. And that's real love Amu. It won't end through drama or moving, or others interfering. Even death won't stop how much God loves us. I know you're hurt right now Amu. I've been there too. But all you have to do is let Jesus into your heart, and He'll put it back together again." I was shocked once again.

"Is-Is this really true, Tadase?" He nodded and smiled at me.

"It is."

_So, I really don't have to stay broken like this? Maybe.. Jesus really can help me…_

"Guys, we only have half an hour to have this meeting… and Rima's getting impatient," Nagihiko smirked while poking his head through the door. Tadase and I shared a smile before walking to the meeting.

_Maybe… Just maybe… I don't have to stay broken…_


	8. Chapter 8

"Priscilla, why do you love God so much?" The question resounded through the Royal Garden. Priscilla only smiled while she finished sipping her tea.

"Because, He first loved me."

_"__Love that would lay down its life for me."_

Rima scoffed.

"If you love Him so much, why don't you just marry him?" Rima sneered.

"Actually, I am marrying Jesus. The church is His bride, and I'm part of the church. I hope you guys get invited to the wedding too," Priscilla beamed.

"Whatever. Fairytale romances don't exist. And I'm not gonna believe some old guy in the sky is busy loving people," Rima stated. Priscilla's face softened.

"I don't know why you've hardened your heart Rima, but please know that Jesus truly does-"

"-love me. I've heard it before, and I don't care. I need to go buy some pocky." Rima stood up to leave.

"But, Rima-chan, your mother wanted me to get you home immediately after the meeting," Nagihiko protested.

"You're not the boss of me, and neither is she." Rima walked out. Kusukusu looked back at us sadly and waved before following Rima. Nagihiko stood up.

"I think she needs some time alone Nagihiko," Priscilla stated. Nagihiko looked down at the table.

"I think she's been alone for way too long." Nagihiko walked out after Rima.

"Yaya doesn't like when everyone's upset," Yaya pouted while crossing her arms.

"Sparkle! Hop! Flip!" Priscilla's hair was pulled back by purple bobbins, and she had gotten her pom-poms.

"C'mon you guys! Let's stop being so sad! Let's be happy! 'For the joy of the Lord is your strength!" Priscilla cheered happily. Yaya pulled out makeshift pom-poms and started cheering with Priscilla happily. Tadase and I smiled. My mind went to Rima.

_What brokenness could she possibly be hiding?_

I watched as Priscilla prepped to do a cartwheel. Her chara-change broke halfway through so Priscilla landed on her back.

"Ow." Tadase and I sweatdropped as Yaya attempted a cartwheel also, only to get the same result. I laughed.

_My friends are crazy, but maybe I am too._


	9. Chapter 9

Ironic how only a week ago, I promised I would never come back here…

_"__Amu, please take Ami to church again with you."_

_"__Hai, mama."_

I want to be here though. I know I need to be here.

_"__I'm glad you'll be coming again Amu."_

The door was opened, and Ami and I entered into our respective rooms. I sang during praise and worship, I listened to the sermon… I didn't go up for altar call.

_You're not clean enough Amu. What you've done can't be forgiven._

That's not true!

_You know it is. If it wasn't, you'd be standing in front right now._

I looked up to see people giving their lives to Jesus.

Like I should've done.

"Amu!" Priscilla bounced over after the service. I faked a smile.

"I'm glad you came back again; what made you do it?" Priscilla inquired.

"Well-"

"Oh hi Amu," Sarah walked up with a smug look on her face as opposed to Morgan's… disappointed one.

"Hi," I stated confused.

"Guess where we saw Amu last Sunday after church, Priscilla?" Priscilla looked at me attentively. I gulped.

"I'm gonna guess what you're telling me isn't gonna be-"

"She was getting an abortion!" Priscilla and I both had looks of shock on our faces.

_How dare she assume that just because… I walked into... an abortion clinic…_

"We should be here from the church. What she did was horrible!" Sarah accused me.

"We can't have that kind of darkness here," Morgan stated. I backed up a bit.

_Why? Why now? I thought I could be loved…_

"She's just a dirty slut like the rest of those prostitutes out there," Sarah sneered. Her words were like daggers to my heart.

_But, can't I be cleansed of my sins?_

Tears started to well up in my eyes.

"Well-" Morgan tried to continue.

"He who has no sin shall cast the first stone." Priscilla spoke for the first time since Sarah and Morgan started to accuse me.

"Huh?" Sarah looked confused.

"He who has no sin shall cast the first stone." Priscilla spoke louder. Sarah was silenced. I gazed at her in wonder. "If any many lusts after a woman, he commits adultery with her in his heart. This applies to girls looking at boys also. Yes Amu has had sex. But in our hearts, we've all committed fornication, but Jesus has forgiven us. Yes, she may have aborted her baby, but her baby is with Jesus right now. I can tell Amu is repentant. I'm not saying that what she did wasn't a sin. We all know it was a sin, even her. But she's repentant, I can see it in her eyes. I know Amu wants to change, why else would she come back here when most of us have friends who won't even let us just talk about Jesus with them. Jesus washed us and made us clean of our sins, so why can't He do the same for Amu?" The two girls were stunned. So was I. "Oh, ye hypocrites, take the log out of your own eye so that ye can see clearly to remove the mote from your brother's eye." Priscilla appeared satisfied. She grabbed my arm and led me outside. I stood there awkwardly as Priscilla stared at the ground.

"Priscilla…"

"Amu." I looked to her to see that she was still staring at the ground. "Amu, I've already warned you about this stuff, you didn't listen. I know you've seen the consequences though." She lifted her head up, and I saw pity and sadness in her eyes.

_Why… does she look so… heartbroken?..._

"Amu, I hate watching my friends get hurt from their own disobedience towards God, but I have no control over their actions. I just wish… that someone would listen for once… but it's not my job to get everyone saved," she stated sadly.

"Priscilla, I didn't abort the baby." She looked at me shocked.

"But didn't Sarah say she saw you walking out of an abortion clinic?" she asked confused.

"Yes. But I was only getting counseling for my pregnancy. They told me the only way to fix this would be to terminate my pregnancy…" I stated.

"Amu," I looked at her again. Her eyes were no longer pitiful, only determined. "Amu," she began again, "You've already heard everything about God and about how He sent Jesus down to save you. And I know you regret your decision with Ikuto. I'm telling you right now that you can be made new Amu. I've watched you the past few days. You've been going through a brokenness I pray I won't have to ever go through. Jesus is ready to fix your heart Amu. You just have to let Him." Priscilla finished. I stared at her.

"I can't." I mumbled. She looked at me sadly and sighed.

"Okay then." I didn't see her expression on her face as I ran away from her, and the church. I went to the park, because that was the only place I cared to be right now. I collapsed. A drop of water hit my head. I didn't bother looking up.

_Rain…_

I cried. Alone and pitiful. Broken and scarred. How could I let this happen to myself?

_"Amu, I've already warned you about this stuff, you didn't listen. I know you've seen the consequences though."_

"I deserve this. I deserve all of this brokenness. It's my own fault." I mumbled through my tears. My hair started to get heavy.

_"All you have to do is let Jesus into your heart, and He'll put it back together again."_

I stopped crying. I don't have to stay broken. I know it. Jesus can save me from my brokenness.

I bowed my head. I've seen how Priscilla has prayed before in the Royal Garden before the rest of us got there.

"Jesus, if you truly love me, like Priscilla and Tadase told me, please take away my brokenness and help me. I've heard how you can give me a new heart, how you can make me new. I'm desperate and in need of a Savior. I know you love me and that you died so that my sins wouldn't drag me to Hell. I know that now. So please… help me, because I can't help myself." I stayed kneeled down there for a while. I sighed. I didn't feel any weird mystical thing occur. I sighed once more.

"Amu-chan!"

_It can't be…_

My eyes shot open. I felt more tears come to my eyes. My charas were back. I smiled.

"Amu-chan, we missed you!" Ran shouted hugging me. Miki and Su joined the hug quickly. I looked up and smiled.

_Thank you…_

I got up and ran back towards the church. I saw Priscilla saying goodbye to some people. She saw me running towards her.

"HI PRISCA!" Ran shouted. Priscilla gasped. Miracle and the rest of the charas gasped happily. All of them instantly formed a happy dog pile with the rest of my charas. Priscilla gaped.

"H-How?"

"I accepted Jesus into my life Priscilla. He's mended my heart. I'm free now." Priscilla smiled widely and hugged me.

_What was lost has been renewed_

_And brokenness has been subdued_


End file.
